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Realm of visions

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Clean Hands of Blood [Jan. 31st, 2005|02:21 pm]
Realm of visions
*This entry is crossposted at my own journal and abstractions*
Three nights ago I had a dream, and then a semi-dream. The dream did not bother me as much, because I've long had strange, vivid dreams. However, the semi-dream was something unexpected. I'd been meditating, and then I saw two people: one male, one female. They were standing, facing one another. His hands were held out in front of him, palms up, and both were looking down at his hands. They were clean. But the girl, looking mystified, murmured, "there's blood on your hands." Obviously, he saw the source of concern as well, because his eyes were fixed on his hands, his face in the same awed look that she had on her face.

Two nights ago, that came back. This time, I could clearly tell that they were standing outside. She was using a yellow flashlight of normal size. It was night time. They were standing on grass. The same looks on their faces, the (almost) same phrase, "you have blood on your hands." Except now it was "you have blood on your hands," rather than "there's blood on your hands."

Any thoughts?
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Looking for Understanding [Dec. 16th, 2004|03:03 pm]
Realm of visions
[mood |anxiousanxious]

Something's coming. Again.
Today I went to an occult shop about 30 miles from where I live, where I was hoping to buy a blade. I was looking through the collection the shopowner carried, and when I came to one, I stopped, and asked to hold it. It was really, really simple, not ornate and "made up for show." It was severely rusted, and the sheath looks like it could use some work. But when he handed it to me, it zapped me, like an electrical shock. The shopkeeper said, "it's not much to look at, but I bound some energies into it." He looked surprised when I said, "I know." But I was actually disturbed. I was getting a really violent vibe from it, even though I knew it had nothing to do with the shopkeeper or the blade. Shortly afterward, I told my friend we should go.

Later today, a friend text-messaged me out of nowhere saying, "I hope all is well." Why wouldn't it be? And yet, the timing gave me chills. I don't know why; it just seems really dark.

An hour ago, a very dear friend of mine called me. "Did anything weird happen to you today?" he asked. I told him about the occult shop, and the shock-effect that came from holding the blade. He told me to keep him posted if anything happens.

I'm so tired.

I posted this entry in my diary, kelticlady. Anyone who's interested in dates/times of the posting can look it up. This is an update.

On December 14th, I went to bed and had more violent nightmares. Someone was screaming. On Friday (10th), I'd heard someone screaming as well, and had attributed it later to a play I saw on Sunday (12th) where one of the characters spent a lot of time screaming. On December 14th, though, the dreams were very vivid, and I ended up waking up to meditate.

Yesterday, the 15th, my housemate's grandfather died. He took a gun and shot himself. As she has Down Syndrome and thus has the emotional capacity of an 8 yr old, we are merely telling her "he passed away."

No more death before the holidays... There have been two deaths, and three hospitalizations in the last week.
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It Happened Again... [Dec. 8th, 2004|08:09 pm]
Realm of visions
[mood |discontentdiscontent]

On December 5th, I sent (in part) the following e-mail to a dear friend of mine:

"...Anyway, it's 8P, I'm sitting here screwing around on a school computer, so I'd better get home. There's a weird feeling in the air here tonight, but I've no idea why. I don't want to go home. Don't ask me why; you know me and my "hallucination" affect. I never know what the hell is going on until it's too late to change anything. All I know is that something out of the ordinary is coming.

Take care, you. Love you."

I did come home, and meditated for an hour in an attempt to clear my mind.

At 10:30P that same night (the 5th), I was still highly bothered. I called my friend Fox, mainly because he knows how edgy I get when this happens. He talked with me for a long while, and at the end, told me to keep him posted. I told him, "You'll probably hear from me within two days, then, Fox. I'm serious. This is really strong." He said he understood, and we hung up.

6:25P yesterday (December 7th), I got a phone call from my sister, who lives 300 miles north from me with our parents.

"Dad's work took him to the hospital."
"They think it's his heart."

My father is 52 years old, and very healthy. He is training for a 100-mile bike ride that will take place next July. I was completely shocked. Throughout the evening, other phone calls came, updates. I called the friend I'd e-mailed, almost crying because I was 300 miles away and had a final in 12 hours, so there was nothing I could do. But more than that, I was almost crying because it had happened again. I knew something was going to happen. A while back, I started letting either him or Fox know when I was having one of those "feelings", or similar events. I had to prove to myself that I wasn't just imagining it, that I wasn't crazy... even though they'd told me, many times, that I wasn't.

I wish I were crazy, sometimes. Then maybe I could explain it and have an excuse for why this always happens. The alternative explanation is too creepy.

(Update: I called the hospital up there this morning and talked to my father. He's doing okay, and will hopefully be released this evening, depending on how his EKG, etc., come out.)
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New to the Community [Nov. 29th, 2004|06:15 pm]
Realm of visions
[mood |exhaustedexhausted]
[music |"To Where You Are" Josh Groban]

I am not new to livejournal.com. I did, however, create a new user name, due to the fact that most of the people I know in real life don't feel comfortable (for whatever reason) with this type of thing.
To be honest, I'm not comfortable with it, either. Raised in a conservative Christian family, I was constantly warned about psychics being fakes, and that there was no such thing as precognition. This became a problem at a very young age when I'd suffer from frequent bouts of deja vu. They'd be extremely vivid, and unlike many who have deja vu, I could usually tell exactly where, when, and under what circumstances I'd seen the situation before - usually, it'd be from my dreams.
Eight years ago, I converted to Wicca for many reasons. One reason was that Christianity - at least, the way I was raised - left no room for what was happening to me. I "had an active imagination," or was "a great storyteller," but my mom would get angry and preachy at me when I'd tell her, "Mom, I have a really, really bad feeling." She'd become even more indignant when, w/i two days, someone in our family would die, or something would befall a close loved one.
My mom calls it a 6th sense. She has it, but says it's a punishment of some kind, and does her best to ignore it. It's gone away for the most part, in her case. I tried to ignore it, too. Instead of going away, it got stronger for me. I didn't want it to. Whenever I got the weird feeling in my stomach, I'd not want to answer the phone, knowing damn well that w/i the next 48 hours, we'd get THE phone call. My dreams got more vivid, and then I started getting (dreams?) during the day in 1997. I'd be completely fine, talking to a friend or doing something else, and suddenly I'd either hear something or I'd get goosebumps out of nowhere. Things would start to fade a little bit, and I'd start... not seeing stuff that wasn't there, but feeling them. By the end of 1997, I was being physically affected by them. By 1999, I was actually seeing images of stuff. Weird, random images, but they always seemed to make sense, and they always REALLY made sense within a few days when corresponding REAL situations would take place.
Now I meditate when I start to have these weird events. A friend told me I should try to "focus" it, but half of me honestly always hopes that there's nothing to focus. In the last 12 years, I've come to understand why my mother thought it was a punishment. Even now as I write this, it sounds stupid in my head. Every time it happens, I say "It's just a coincidence." A week ago, a dear friend finally said, "You know... you keep saying that, but that's a lot of coincidences, isn't it? Who are you trying to convince that it's a coincidence?" I didn't want to tell her that I was - and am - trying to convince myself. I don't want this; I never have. I want to be rid of whatever it is, but it doesn't look like I ever will be. I've been waiting for over 15 years to wake up one day and find that it had disappeared.
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This is my latest vision. [May. 28th, 2004|08:16 am]
Realm of visions

[mood |confusedconfused]
[music |Nobody's Home - Avril Lavigne]


Well here it is.

She's laying on the ground, at the top of the stairs, on her side. One hand on her head, the other under her cheek. She's staring down the stairs. Slowly she starts to turn translucent, into water. She starts to pour down the stairs, and onto the forehead, and shoulders and hands of a girl. The girl has long bright red hair, and dark violet eyes. And a scar on her left cheek. Behind her is an angel, with long braided brown hair. And eyes so green they are like emeralds. Her wings are a bright glowing silver. Her hands on the girls shoulders, as if protectively. But she changes, and drifts away like sand in the wind. She is gone.

But the girl doesn't look, she hasn't seemed to notice. Her forehead is against the cold marble stairs. Her hands against them. She is praying, her eyes closed. Whispering in a strange language. The sky is darkening, and the water that is pour down the marble stairs turns to blood. It's getting everywhere, all over the girl. Staining her white skin, her fingers, getting under her fingernails. It's getting everywhere. Against her white robes. Staining everything. The sky lights up once with lightning, and then thunder cracks against the sky. As if screaming at the girl.

But she is still pressing herself against the stairs. Ignoring the blood, ignoring the rain. Ignoring the lightning and the thunder. Soon the rain is also blood, pouring down from the sky. Drenching the praying girl, but she hasn't stopped. Her robes soaked against her body, slight transparent, and deep red down. But she hasn't stopped praying. The stairs start to crack, the blood dries and the rain stops. The sun rises and falls. Rises and falls. Rises and falls. Rises and Falls. The stairs are nearly dust, worn, old and brittle. Darkened with age. Her robes stained with rain, weather, and blood. But she hasn't stopped praying. She is in the same position. Forehead against the steps, hands on either side of her head.

Even when they come to kill everything else that is living, she down not stop praying. Even when they have killed her. Her body dissolved, ashes blowing in the wind. Her spirit is still on those steps. On those stairs. Praying for all eternity. She is still praying.

Well that's it. Thoughts, what do you think it means? Because I am at my wits end.

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Mmn [Apr. 30th, 2004|02:48 am]
Realm of visions

[mood |confusedconfused]
[music |Wild Child - Enya]

As, a new member or two was neglected.. Because I forgot to check the new members list...

I would like to say, that if you join please leave a message on my Wolveneyes Account. account. :)

Thank you for your time.

And the next topic, is this.

Is the body sacred?
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Next question. [Apr. 3rd, 2004|04:02 am]
Realm of visions

[mood |amusedamused]
[music |If God is a Dj - Pink]

What is faith..?
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An introduction [Mar. 27th, 2004|11:28 pm]
Realm of visions

[mood |calmcalm]

I was invited to join here a couple of weeks ago but have yet to put down an introduction. I apologize for the bit of lurking that I've been doing...I just didn't really know how to introduce myself here. I have a bit of a shy streak, especially in new places, and I've never been invited to join a Live Journal community before. :) To whomever invited me, I assume it was the maintainer from what was written in the user-info, thank you very much. :)

To tell a little bit about myself: I've been told before that I have a gift for helping people and comforting people. I'm not entirely sure what this "gift" is exactly but I have been told before by others that just my presence has lifted them a little higher when they've fallen to their lowest. They've told me that I don't even have to say anything and I'm already "working the magic." Once more, I don't really understand what this gift is but I do understand somewhat how extremely empathic I am. I take in others' emotions into myself...feel their emotions, experience their emotions...to such an extreme before that I haven't always been able to tell the difference between what is my own emotions and the emotions that I've taken in from others. I'm a good listener most of the time because I've learned to listen with my heart and not just with my ears. Sometimes you can hear so much more if you just listen with your heart, things that are beneath the surface of what the person is saying...meaning you can react sensitively to someone's hostility because you've realised through listening with your heart that the hostility is just the surface. There may be sadness or depression beneath those waters that you couldn't hear if you just listened with your ears.

And before I go overboard for an introduction I'm going to end this right here. :) I hope I can be of some help in this community somehow.
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Guy_de_bored [Mar. 27th, 2004|06:12 pm]
Realm of visions

[mood |amusedamused]
[music |Knocking on Heaven's Door - Bob Dylan]

For the record, has not been banned. Simply removed from membership. In a week, should he have chosen too, could have returned. However showed that he did not want to return. And at his request I deleted all of his posts and comments. What good that would prove I cannot see, other then to make me look like a tyrant.

Also, as soon as I can talk to Tallania again, she will most likely get her posting abilities taken away for a week. Not that I want to, nor that I wanted to with Guy_de_bored, however I do not want people to be harassed or insulted here.

Several members are having a hard enough time in life right now to listen to an abusive person. Myself included, I have been suffering for terrible night-terrors and fits of Ureni, which is a sorrow and despair that cannot be described. It's like one's soul being taken and swallowed into a black hole of pain and suffering with no light or warmth. A chill spreads through the body and the soul.

These times are hard, something is coming. And I am trying to prepare people for it. Build them back up, help them to understand, before it gets here. And people who when you do something they do not like or seems "unjust" start to be abusive are not needed here.

Being neutral, as much as I can be and still be human, I do not believe in "injustice". I believe that everything happens for a reason. That there is no justice or injustice. Only the things that happen, and the outcome they beget.

Anchasta do not worry, I did read and listen to your opinions. And I am glad you decided to stay, even though you disagree with me. I am sorry you feel that it is harsh, and it may be so. I may have made a mistake, if so I will have to learn from it. However, it was primarily a test to see how he would react. I hope you understand, and if you do not, please agrue your point with me.

That goes for everyone else as well, if you have objections to my actions please tell me so. It can't help what has happened, for he has decided to go and not come back. But it can help in the future. I am not resistant to change.

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Select Posting [Mar. 25th, 2004|08:45 pm]
Realm of visions

I am sad to say this, but already I have had to change the posting access. Bored_de_guy got into a fight with another member, even though it wasn't on this community he called her an ignorant child. And I do not want people who will call someone an ignorant child in my community. Wether they do it in or out of the community.

He's been removed the community and won't be able to post.

If you have any objections, please state them.

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